The Cone of Shame and the Need to Adapt

In the last Louie’s Leadership blog, I shared the episode of Louie, my adopted pup, having surgery to remove a growth on his paw. It was a pretty quick decision, with some uncertainty about what the growth was and how he would handle the recuperation period.

He survived the surgery well, and the growth was a papilloma, a wart. The biggest issue we had was keeping him away from the stitches. Louie is like Houdini; he can get out of any bandage or covering that I put on him to prevent him from chewing on his paw. I was amazed at how many times I found his bandage on the floor somewhere.


We came home with a very nice, pliable, see-through cone that was to be placed over his head to keep him from chewing his stitches. I was hesitant to use it because of the look he gave me when I tried to put it on him. First, it was a look of defiance (gee, I’ve never seen that one before), and then he’d look as though I was trying to kill him. And finally, I’d get the puppy dog big brown eyes that captured my heart the very first time I met him.

I attached his collar and slid the cone over his head, stating in a serious, parental tone, “This is for your own good, buddy.” He hated it! And he was mad at me. He decided the best thing he could do was trot out of the room and go to his happy place to look out the window and be away from me. Except he ran into the doorframe and stopped. He looked back at me with a look of “Are you kidding me?” Then he set himself back on track, maneuvered the cone to clear the doorframe, and walked out of the room.

Next, he hit the doorframe going into the room with a view. Again, he stopped, looked back at me, and shook his head. Again, he set himself back on track and maneuvered the cone so he could walk into the room, clearing the doorframe. I could hear him trying to jump up on the seat to look out the window, but because the cone got in the way, he fell back down. He tried again, missed again, and fell back down.

I resisted the urge to jump in and help. I knew he could do it; he just needed to adjust himself a bit to clear the seat. And so he did, finally, and then positioned himself as close to the window as possible so that everyone could see him and would feel sorry for him. And they did.


I learned a few valuable leadership lessons thanks to the cone of shame:

  • As tough as it was for him to wear, it helped in the healing process.
  • In order to achieve a goal (look out the window), he had to make several adjustments and think outside the “cone.”
  • As a leader, you can’t always jump in to rescue someone. They have to learn things for themselves, as tough as it is to watch them fall.
  • Louie learned a few new things; like how to eat his food with the cone, even though he looked like a vacuum cleaner as he leaned over his bowl and inhaled.
  • He figured out pretty quickly that he was good at tipping the water bowl over.
  • There was no need for me to walk around calling the contraption on his head the cone of shame. Well, actually, that’s a lie—he hated it and no doubt, was ashamed to wear it!
  • The less opportunity he had to bother his stitches, the faster he healed and the longer the cone stayed off. For Louie, this meant that he felt better, and was back to taking walks and playing with his pals.

Louie soaked in the attention for as long as he could. As time passed and his stitches were removed, I realized the overarching lesson of this entire experience. While we must take time to heal from some of life’s tough lessons, deep down inside, we know we can adjust and adapt. And in that perseverance, we may actually learn to enjoy life more.



Thank you, Eastside Rotary, for inviting us to speak to your fabulous members!


Every year, March 20, we celebrate Louie! While we’re not sure of his actual birthday, we decided the first day of spring was a perfect day to celebrate his new life! Louie is somewhere between 5-6 years of age. Celebrate with us and wish this little guy a happy birthday! Thank you!



Relax, Lou! There Are Plenty Of Moles To Go Around.

For some reason, this winter has made the ground in our neighborhood very susceptible to moles. You can’t walk in a grassy area without walking over a tunnel dug underground by a mole. And of course, Louie, my adopted pup, is keenly aware of his nemeses lurking just under the surface everywhere he steps.

As we were enjoying one of the unseasonably warm days recently, I noticed Louie had a little extra spring in his step. He was ready to pounce at any given time to expose a mole—or several, if need be. After all, this is what he was created for, and it was his duty to rid our community of as many moles as he could. His fans were counting on him to fulfill his calling.

And pounce he did—several times, in fact—and chased away one or two of the little critters. As we got closer to our home, he found a mound that was especially inviting. He dug and dug and snorted and pulled away clumps of grass with his mouth, and nothing was going to stop him from his responsibility.

Then along came Louie’s friend, Mick—his Goldendoodle pal from across the street. Louie pulled his head out of the dirt and ran over to play with Mick. Then Mac came along, and the three of them jumped and played; it seemed the role of the mighty mole hunter was all but forgotten. That is until Mick got a little too close to the molehill and Louie gave him a firm warning. “That’s MY molehill, buddy,” Louie seemed to snarl. Then Mac stepped a little too close to the molehill, and Louie had all he could take. He made it clear he did not want anyone stepping any closer to the molehill because he had put so much work into digging that hole and possibly finding his treasure.

The humans laughed and shrugged it off as one of his many quirky behaviors. Once Mick and Mac left, Louie went back to digging, clearly not willing to share the findings, should any be uncovered.

As I pulled him away to finish our walk, I shook my head at how possessive and territorial he can be sometimes. I mean, to snarl at his friends just because they were a little too close to the molehill he was working on so diligently? And yet, this gave me great pause. Isn’t that just like us regarding our businesses?

Many people in business today are no different than Louie. They safeguard their information like a child who wraps his arms around his dinner plate making sure no one in the family has an opportunity to steal his food. I do understand the delicate balance of sharing and yet maintaining the quality of intellectual property, but many people, especially in the business-consulting circle, believe they have the market cornered when it comes to their particular information and design.

I have great news! There is nothing new under the sun, and there is plenty of business to go around. While cooperation is essential for teams within organizations, how well do you collaborate with other businesses? I have been blessed with excellent collaborative partnerships throughout the years and have found that working together is much better than competing against one another (I know, competition is good to a certain point).

What I have learned through collaboration is the following:

  1. I have strengths and skill sets others may not have and vice versa. Combined, we make a strong team and will work on one or two projects together to test the water.
  2. I have business contacts others may not have and vice versa. We don’t need to share every contact, but we may find some in common and others that we may simply provide an introduction to.
  3. I learn so much more and provide such a greater service to my clients from brainstorming with others who are also in the same business I am in.

I’ve enjoyed learning from the best: Lynne Ruhl (Perfect10 Corporate Cultures), T. D. Hughes (former CEO and chair of the board of LaRosa’s), Bob Pautke (LEAD Clermont and SOAR Consultancy) and Ken Blanchard (author of The One Minute Manager).

I am still in partnership with The Ken Blanchard Companies and enjoy maintaining a connection with Ken and meeting with Michelle Shone (business development agent, The Ken Blanchard Companies) on a regular basis. I learned a valuable lesson from Ken many years ago. When he shares the wisdom he’s learned from someone else, he always gives that person credit and honors his or her name and calling in life by doing so. He has done this for the 18 years I have known him, and he still does it today.

I know all too many people who take credit for work, material, and ideas they had nothing to do with bringing to fruition. Yet, they never give people the proper credit and are perfectly happy with allowing people to believe they are the originators. This is stealing, not collaboration. And it fosters a sense of insecurity and negative response, exactly the way Louie behaved.

Although it would have taken me awhile to get Louie to understand that had Mick and Mac joined in the hunt for the mole, the three of them might have been successful in finding one or two moles. Instead, we have a big hole in the ground, a very messy dog, and no mole.

Look for ways to collaborate with others, even those who may seem to be fishing in the same pond as you. It will foster a sense of cooperation and accomplishment—and you may learn a thing or two. Just remember to give proper credit where credit is due.


I could not resist adding a few pictures of my favorite girls with their hero, Fiona the Hippo


From Little Reminders to Lifelong Memories

It’s not been that long since Louie’s friend Sammy passed. Every time we walk by Sammy’s home, Louie will check out the stake in the ground and attached leash or scope out a lingering smell that I’m sure reminds him of his friend. I can’t help but wonder what he remembers and what he thinks as he looks toward Sammy’s front door. Does he wonder why he hasn’t seen his friend in a while, or does he somehow know Sammy won’t be coming out to play? He seems satisfied with the little reminders of Sammy as we move on with our walk.

I know Louie has a great memory because of all the issues we’ve dealt with over the years in getting him to think differently about people coming to the door, the smell of cigars, or other triggers. I’m sure he remembers Sammy prancing outside to play, Allie greeting him with lots of kisses, and Khaki regally sitting atop the hill, waiting for Sir Louie to arrive. The little reminders of his friends who have passed on seem to fill Louie’s heart and spirit with joy and fondness.

Sometimes we humans tend to rush right past those reminders because we don’t want to dwell in the past, or it may be too painful to park there a moment. But they are nestled in our memories and, many times, those reminders are necessary for our well-being.

I recently visited my brother and his family in Phoenix and had the pleasure of bringing my granddaughter Evi with me. What a joy! In addition to the beauty of Arizona, we really enjoyed visiting Mark, Agnes, and Christian. More times than not I would look across the table at Evi and swear I was looking at her mother, my daughter, Marisa. Mark and I both caught ourselves calling Evi by the endearing name my family calls Marisa—Rissy!

What sparked this thirty-year lapse in memory? The twinkle in Evi’s eyes, her contagious laugh, the way she holds her hand up to her mouth as she tells a story, her facial expressions, and her tone of voice. Her face alone is a replica of Marisa’s—oh, the little reminders.

But it goes deeper. I see my mom in so many ways when I look at Marisa and Evi! And when Mea, my youngest granddaughter, crinkles her nose when she laughs, I see a glimpse of my mom who did the same thing. All these reminders fill my heart with lifelong memories. Those memories open the door to a better understanding of the wisdom that has been passed down through the years. I hear my mom’s voice as I am reminded of the life lessons I’ve learned that have been passed to my daughter and now to her daughters—wisdom like this:

  • You can do whatever you’d like as long as you understand the consequences and are willing to face them (I wish I would have listened to that wisdom a bit more carefully).
  • You don’t need a thousand friends (and this before Facebook). You do need a few good close friends (two to four) with whom you can trust and share life.
  • Look people in the eyes; show them they matter.
  • Never be so upset with someone that you won’t say hello (a kind and genuine hello) to him or her in public.
  • Family matters.

Whether across the table in Phoenix or every time my brothers and sisters share funny stories of our youth with my granddaughters, Evi and Mea, I see my mom and I hear her voice. Through such small and seemingly irrelevant reminders, my heart soars to the heights of a lifelong memory of my mother. I have been blessed that my mom spent significant time with Marisa before she passed. And now I am blessed to share life with my daughter and grandchildren and to watch Marisa blossom into a wonderful, loving mother.

Yes, I am sure Louie relishes the little reminders of his dear friends who have passed on, and it must bring him joy as he taps into a lifelong memory. I see the joy by the way he walks and even in his face. And I have to smile every time I know Louie is enjoying a wonderful memory.

Don’t rush by the little reminders that pop up in the daily haste to the next thing. You’ll be missing a soul refresher, a spark of a wonderful, lifelong memory. And in our hurried world, we all need these refreshing little reminders.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms making memories (doggie moms included).


Mick reminding Louie it is good to slow down!

For Louie’s faithful friends…Thank You!!

Louie’s NEWLY REVISED leadership book is available for 50% off

 Click on the image below and use this code at check out: V7EEHT5P

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Louie And Mercy

This is actually a picture of Mercy. As cute as she is, she’s not the subject of this blog, though she will be the subject of one soon. No, this blog is about my little Louie and the mercy I’ve had to grant him over and over.

Louie is certainly a transformed dog since I rescued him three years ago. Most of his bad behaviors are behind us, but he has one persistent habit that just drives me crazy. I have two videos of him owning up to it. Apparently, it’s a habit he’s unwilling to change.

Louie gets into my laundry basket, very neatly removes one item of clothing, drags it onto the floor, and proceeds to roll around on it. We wrote a blog about it a couple of months ago. And this behavior has been evident from day one.

No matter how many times I point to the clothes on the floor after each episode and sternly say NO, he continues to do it. I’ve walked into the room with him happily trotting behind me, and as soon as I see the clothes and turn to look at him, he’ll drop to the floor and roll over on his back. I don’t have to say a word. He knows he’s guilty, yet he persists.

Last week while I was shopping at Kroger, I ran into our dog trainer, Zig, and expressed my frustration about this habit of Lou’s. I explained that he has done well in other arenas, but this just drives me nuts.

Zig paused before saying, “Some things are not going to change. Sometimes it is just too much for him to ignore. The laundry basket is just too much for Louie to resist.” I had to admit Zig was right. Louie was never going to change this behavior.

I continued my grocery shopping and thought about Zig’s wisdom. There was something deeper to this whole laundry basket thing. Was Zig implying that it was my fault that Louie got into the basket? I mean, after all, I kept my laundry basket on the floor. Rather than doing that, I should just take the basket downstairs and do the laundry. And then, having folded my clean clothes and put them back in the basket, I should put them away rather than leave them on the floor.

Was my bad behavior triggering Louie’s? Admittedly, there’d be no problem without baskets of clothes sitting around. It’s too tempting for Louie, just too much for him to resist.

Leader, think about this. Certain behaviors in others just aren’t going to change. But what are WE doing to trigger the behavior we wish would change? Are we using a certain tone of voice, are we overcorrecting, do they not trust us? When they react, we respond sternly, and the cycle perpetuates itself.How we handle the things (people, behaviors, etc.) that just aren’t going to change speaks volumes to our teams:

How we handle the things (people, behaviors, etc.) that just aren’t going to change speaks volumes to our teams:

  • Recognize that the behaviors you exhibit may cause others to react. Be self-aware.
  • Stop hoping others will change. Recognize that some things will never change. Can you live with it? Will it cause the demise of the team? Is the behavior hindering or helping the team / the organization?
  • Address the issues you can control. Take responsibility for what you own. Change what you can.

Mercy is an interesting term. It means compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender; lenient or compassionate treatment. I especially like this definition: “A blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion.” I certainly appreciate the mercy I have been shown by a loving and just God. I’m sure you do as well.

While I have shown mercy to Louie over the years, I have to take responsibility for my behavior that triggers a bad behavior in him. Since my chance meeting with Zig, I’ve moved my laundry basket, and Louie is indeed a changed dog. He’s no longer tempted by the world of dirty laundry in a basket, and he hasn’t found other places from which to pull clothes onto the floor. This has been my lesson as much as his. And now he no longer needs to drop to the floor in an attempt to make amends. We’re good!


In celebration of Louie’s birthday, we’re announcing the pre-release of his newly revised leadership book with special pricing for our blog readers. [See full description below].

What’s different in this revision? The LOUIE/PAWS model is described in detail in the introduction, and each of the five sections of the book aligns with the model. The chapters are from the numerous blogs we’ve generated over the last three years and relate specifically to the LOUIE model. This book is also endorsed by several business leaders and can be used individually or with a team.

By using this simple model, leaders will make the connection to relationships, revealing the small ways they can be effective and empower their teams every day. The results are more engaged employees and higher productivity.

If you are interested in purchasing the pre-released version of Louie’s Leadership Lessons, I only ask two things; if you see a mistake, please let me know. And please consider writing a review on Amazon. [NOTE: This pricing is not available through Amazon].

Order Book Here
At checkout, use this code: T9DPXS2B

This pricing will last until Monday, April 3, 2017, and you can order books for others. After that, we’ll be making the necessary changes to prepare for the final copy.

Louie and I thank you for being such faithful readers of our blog. We are changing things a bit and will be back in 2-3 weeks with a new format. Louie is quite the busy fellow, and I am blessed I get to tag along with him!



From the unlikeliest of sources—a rescue pup—you can reap decades of leadership lessons and nuggets of wisdom. Louie’s initial fears and bad behaviors prompted his new owner, author Danise C. DiStasi, to use everything she knew about leadership to work it out.

What Danise learned from and with Louie forms the basis for her simple and streamlined leadership model. For a leader in any organization, this approach boils down numerous leadership studies to one understandable formula. With a few changes in behavior, anyone can become a great leader, and any team can produce great work. One example from Louie’s stories is the PAWS method for dealing with issues. As a leader, it is important to respond professionally and appropriately to conflict, thus avoiding acting in a way you will regret. Stellar leadership has a direct connection to relationship building, and it is this wisdom that forms the basis for Louie’s lessons.

With praise from Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The New One Minute Manager, this insightful guide reveals how to truly empower a team. By following this model, a leader can take the first step: investing in and understanding others, allowing a true transformation to take place. ​

Louie And Self-Awareness

Who needs self-awareness, asks Louie.

Louie and I were looking forward to a very long walk. As we exited the garage, I ran into a neighbor and we started chatting. Louie patiently waited for us to finish with his typical signals: He lowered his head and looked at the person interrupting our time together with an under the brow look and a quick whine. I usually ignore him.

But after a few minutes, I noticed he was alert to something. His body language signaled an issue that I had no clue about. He stood up straight, his ears perked up, and he intently stared in the direction across the street. His awareness is a great tool when we are walking in the dark because he gives me a heads up that someone is walking toward us.

Since I wasn’t paying attention to these visible signs, he began “pointing” by holding his paw up in the air in the direction he wanted me to look. This is a comical stance because as his legs are so short, they barely move when he points; but he did his best.

Louie has a keen sense of discernment and can immediately tell the difference between friend or foe. By his stance, I could clearly tell a foe was approaching. But other than my neighbor, there was no human or canine in sight. Still, he continued to stare and point. Finally, after carefully canvassing the entire community within eyesight, I saw what he was signaling to me. Over the hill of a neighbor’s yard, the tip of a dog’s head was visible with his eyes barely showing. This was not just any dog, but his new nemesis, Oliver.

We quickly scooted across the street and headed out on our long walk to avoid any further distractions. As we walked, I thought of Louie’s incredible awareness and how it ties into his keen sense of discernment. But there is one thing he is lacking in the awareness arena that is key to being an effective relational leader: Self-awareness. Louie has little to no self-awareness; but as leaders, we must develop this essential behavior.

What is self-awareness and why is it such an elusive leadership behavior? According to Merriam-Webster’s definition, it is an awareness of one’s own personality or individuality. To this definition, I would add “flaws and all!” Few leaders practice self-awareness because there is a mindset that says, “Don’t be too introspective; keep moving ahead; don’t be too concerned about what other’s think of you.”

There is some validity in that advice, but as in everything, we need to balance that information. Here are a few characteristics of relational leaders who are self-aware:

  • They know themselves well.
  • They are always seeking and welcome feedback. They are not quick to make excuses or justifications when honest feedback is given.
  • They are aware of the traits that hold them back, and take action to address them.
  • They are conscious of their weaknesses and look to hire people who perform well in the areas where they lack expertise.
  • They are natural delegators.
  • They read people well (Louie does this also. Maybe he is more self-aware than I give him credit for).

Self-awareness is key to our emotional health and the relational health of our team. It is actually freeing when you recognize the areas that are holding you back and release them so that others can step up to the plate and excel in their strengths.

Ask others to assist you in becoming more self-aware. The growth potential for not only you as a leader but for your team as well is astonishing and rewarding by way of a healthy culture and employee engagement.

For now, I am still impressed with Louie’s awareness of his environment. His self-awareness probably extends to his level of insecurities and fears only…but it’s a start!


Monday, March 20, 2017, is Louie’s 5th birthday. My granddaughters decided his birthday should always be on the first day of spring because he is so full of life! Send him an email to wish him a happy birthday

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