Louie loves his alpha girls, and there are several in this neighborhood. Kaki and Ali were two of his favorites. There’s Eve, who has no problem with letting Louie know she has had enough of playtime. Ellie throws her paws around him and loves to run and play. And then there’s Snickers, who used to turn her nose up at Lou, now walks side by side with him.
I am the alpha of the alpha girls in Louie’s world, and although there are times when Lou tries to exercise his independence, he is absolutely in love with me—and I with him.
First, I’m not sure many women would deem themselves alpha girls. Yet many are, and although this is usually a good thing, it can sometimes be devastating. Over the span of my career, I have been blessed to know many strong women and have noticed an interesting phenomenon: few strong women, myself included, have truly achieved balance. I’m not talking about work–life balance, or “integration”; it goes beyond that. There always seems to be something off-kilter that we as women want to straighten out or bring into balance, yet it eludes us.
But on this journey, if we remain diligent, there is a sweet spot that allows us to walk in harmonious balance: strength without being pushy, boldness without overpowering others, and humility without appearing weak. Every woman’s quest for that sweet spot leads her on a journey of struggle and change, which can be difficult and yet incredibly freeing and rewarding.
So many times we stop just short of finding this sweet spot. A driving force takes over, and we feel that if we don’t propel ourselves to the top, running over others along the way, then we simply will not survive. That’s the lie many women today have bought into. I believe the antidote to being pushy, rude, and weak is simply love, joy, and peace.
- It takes strength to love others. Love is the ultimate test of strength. This is the deepest desire of every being, human and pets. When you truly love other people, you care more about them than you do about yourself. It is nearly impossible to be pushy with them. Instead, you care more about serving
- When we think of boldness, we think of someone blasting on the scene, taking a stand, and being brave. Tip that boldness over the edge a bit, and you end up running over others and being rude. Joy is our elated response to experiences of life, even when life is tough. It is our response and deep satisfaction when we are able to serve others, not as an obligation but because our heart prompts us to do so. When we have true joy in our heart, rudeness cannot emerge.
- Humility is the toughest characteristic to maintain, but once it is, inner peace is achieved. And when you’re at peace, it doesn’t matter if someone thinks you are weak.
I would like to see more women strive to balance strength, boldness, and humility by honing the character strengths of love, joy, and peace. We can do it!
As for why Louie loves alpha girls—they challenge him to be strong, brave (or bold), and fun (which equates to inner peace in Louie’s world). One of his favorite alphas was his gal pal Ali. When she was outside, he could see her all the way down the street and would whine and pull to get a chance to dance around the front yard with her. She loved to play rough with Louie. He learned a little trick; he could stand just far enough away that her leash wouldn’t allow her to reach him. His ears would go back, and he was on alert. She would stretch to get closer to him. Then, he would ease closer, and the dance would begin. He’d back up and then move closer—they truly enjoyed playing together. Ali challenged him to be a better, stronger, and more playful dog, and we are forever thankful.
Strive to walk in the balance of strength, boldness, and humility. Choose love, joy, and peace. In this sweet spot, you will impact others’ lives for the better, thereby truly making a difference in our world.
TO MY ALPHA GIRL FRIENDS: Louie and I are celebrating the release of my new book, Hide And Seek; Discovering Your Hidden Treasures. Women were created to walk in the harmonious balance of being strong, not pushy; bold, not rude; and humble, not weak. Every women’s quest for that sweet spot leads them on a journey of struggle and change, which may be difficult, yet so incredibly freeing and rewarding. Hide And Seek tells the story of a female business owner named Belle who struggles to move past underlying fear and doubt. Readers, especially women in business, will resonate with Belle’s struggles…They will be able to identify in their own life the vicious cycle of feeling insecure, building a façade so that others see what they want them to see and how this leads to our lives being out of balance. All will welcome learning how certain characteristics lead to a more balanced life.