Louie Loves Alpha Girls

Louie loves his alpha girls, and there are several in this neighborhood. Kaki and Ali were two of his favorites. There’s Eve, who has no problem with letting Louie know she has had enough of playtime. Ellie throws her paws around him and loves to run and play. And then there’s Snickers, who used to turn her nose up at Lou, now walks side by side with him.

I am the alpha of the alpha girls in Louie’s world, and although there are times when Lou tries to exercise his independence, he is absolutely in love with me—and I with him.

My question is twofold. What is it about alpha girls that makes them so alpha? And what is it about them that has Louie so Alpha Evienthralled?

First, I’m not sure many women would deem themselves alpha girls. Yet many are, and although this is usually a good thing, it can sometimes be devastating. Over the span of my career, I have been blessed to know many strong women and have noticed an interesting phenomenon: few strong women, myself included, have truly achieved balance. I’m not talking about work–life balance, or “integration”; it goes beyond that. There always seems to be something off-kilter that we as women want to straighten out or bring into balance, yet it eludes us.

But on this journey, if we remain diligent, there is a sweet spot that allows us to walk in harmonious balance: strength without being pushy, boldness without overpowering others, and humility without appearing weak. Every woman’s quest for that sweet spot leads her on a journey of struggle and change, which can be difficult and yet incredibly freeing and rewarding.

So many times we stop just short of finding this sweet spot. A driving force takes over, and we feel that if we don’t propel ourselves to the top, running over others along the way, then we simply will not survive. That’s the lie many women today have bought into. I believe the antidote to being pushy, rude, and weak is simply love, joy, and peace.

  • It takes strength to love others. Love is the ultimate test of strength. This is the deepest desire of every being, human and pets. When you truly love other people, you care more about them than you do about yourself. It is nearly impossible to be pushy with them. Instead, you care more about serving
  • When we think of boldness, we think of someone blasting on the scene, taking a stand, and being brave. Tip that boldness over the edge a bit, and you end up running over others and being rude. Joy is our elated response to experiences of life, even when life is tough. It is our response and deep satisfaction when we are able to serve others, not as an obligation but because our heart prompts us to do so. When we have true joy in our heart, rudeness cannot emerge.
  • Humility is the toughest characteristic to maintain, but once it is, inner peace is achieved. And when you’re at peace, it doesn’t matter if someone thinks you are weak.

I would like to see more women strive to balance strength, boldness, and humility by honing the character strengths of love, joy, and peace. We can do it!

As for why Louie loves alpha girls—they challenge him to be strong, brave (or bold), and fun (which equates to inner peace in Louie’s world). One of his favorite alphas was his gal pal Ali. When she was outside, he could see her all the way down the street and would whine and pull to get a chance to dance around the front yard with her. She loved to play rough with Louie. He learned a little trick; he could stand just far enough away that her leash wouldn’t allow her to reach him. His ears would go back, and he was on alert. She would stretch to get closer to him. Then, he would ease closer, and the dance would begin. He’d back up and then move closer—they truly enjoyed playing together. Ali challenged him to be a better, stronger, and more playful dog, and we are forever thankful.

Strive to walk in the balance of strength, boldness, and humility. Choose love, joy, and peace. In this sweet spot, you will impact others’ lives for the better, thereby truly making a difference in our world.

FB Hide and SeekTO MY ALPHA GIRL FRIENDS: Louie and I are celebrating the release of my new book, Hide And Seek; Discovering Your Hidden Treasures. Women were created to walk in the harmonious balance of being strong, not pushy; bold, not rude; and humble, not weak. Every women’s quest for that sweet spot leads them on a journey of struggle and change, which may be difficult, yet so incredibly freeing and rewarding. Hide And Seek tells the story of a female business owner named Belle who struggles to move past underlying fear and doubt. Readers, especially women in business, will resonate with Belle’s struggles…They will be able to identify in their own life the vicious cycle of feeling insecure, building a façade so that others see what they want them to see and how this leads to our lives being out of balance. All will welcome learning how certain characteristics lead to a more balanced life.

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Louie Is A Creature Of Habit

Louie is such a creature of habit. He sleeps until I awake, then he jumps on the bed when I call him for morning snuggles, after which he heads down to the kitchen for his breakfast, back up stairs to watch out the window, then goes on a walk after I’ve showered and dressed, (this is all before 7a.m.). His days are mixed with whatever my schedule includes. Sometimes that IMG_2731means long walks, a visit to the park, or visits with the grandpups (Evi and Mea). Other times are spent in his cozy crate (whether I’m home working or out) and an afternoon walk with Sully. He has dinner, then an evening walk and play time, and he’s off to bed at 8:30 p.m.…no matter what is going on in my home.

I’ll change our walking pattern and even then he will stand at the crossroad and wait to see what direction I’ll go in and then happily trots off in that direction. His habits make him feel comfortable. And given his past, I am happy to accommodate him.

I have to laugh when I watch his quirky little ways. I am reminded of a story I heard long ago from Zig Zigler. A young bride was cooking dinner for her husband. He watched her carefully season the roast and then proceed to cut off one end, and then the other end. He asked his wife why she cut off the ends of the roast. She replied that her mother had always done it that way and that was reason enough for her. Since the wife’s mother was visiting, they asked her why she always cut off the end of the roast. Mother replied that this was the way her mother did it. Mother, daughter and son-in-law then decided to call grandmother and solve this three-generation mystery. Grandmother promptly replied that she cut the end of the roast because her roaster was too small to cook it in one piece.

We do things a certain way because we’ve always done them that way and, quite honestly, we’re comfortable with that. But is that always the best way? Not necessarily. Regardless of who originally penned this saying, whether Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, or perhaps Mark Twain, these words still ring true today: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” Many work environments today are stuck in the “We’ve always done it that way,” syndrome with no end in sight.

History and tradition are necessary for a rich working environment where people learn how the business started and how it hasIMG_3446 grown. And many processes are in place because of the hours put into finding just the right workflow. However, many ideas are tossed to the wayside because a leader or leaders cannot see that though something might have worked in the past, there are possibilities to make a change for the better going forward. Even worse, sometimes our prejudices are based on “We’ve always [voted, practiced, treated people] that way” in the past and we’re not self aware enough to break out of that thinking.

The key to breaking through this barrier is TRUST! When I challenge Louie to do things a different way, he trusts me enough to comply. He may look at me as if to say, “Are you sure?” or “Is this the way, really?” But he carries on because he trusts me.

If leaders are secure in their roles and they exude trust with their team and vice versa, the culture breeds openness and spontaneity of new ideas. The next time there’s even a hint of We’ve Always Done It This Way (WADITW), carefully consider the following steps:

  1. STOP before saying another word and take a deep breath!
  2. ASK a question that begins with, “What if…”
  3. LEADER, remain quiet and listen.
  4. BRAINSTORM, write down all the ideas on a white board. Give people ample time to ponder and discuss.
  5. REVIEW all possibilities and decide on a path of growth together. You may decide the way you’ve done it IS the best way at this point, but at least you’ll have more buy in.
  6. ACCOUNTABILITY is the key to keeping trust alive and follow through on getting things done.

I know this takes time and effort, but the loss of creativity and teamwork has a much greater cost on productivity, efficiency and profitability for the organization as a whole. Breaking through the barrier of WADITW is freeing and breeds a culture of trust, thereby increasing engagement.

While Louie likes his comfortable habits, he also exudes excitement when I change things up for him. He can sense my enthusiasm, and he trusts that whatever adventure I am willing to go on, will be good for him.

Click the image for information on how to order Louie's Leadership Lessons
Click the image for information on how to order Louie’s Leadership Lessons

 

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